Olympics end with Fellini, fireworks, flaming

Tonight’s Olympic closing ceremonies are being described as “a surreal tribute” to Italian director Federico Fellini, including 35,000 spectators in red clown noses, Italy’s prime minister wearing an “Angel/Devil” mask, and a performance from Ricky Martin.

To all this we say: The Fuck?

Were the Olympics too much for you, Italy? Did we break your spirit, with our drunken, non-medalling skiers and gayer-than-gay ice skaters? We’re sorry, dude. You’ve got a lot to recommend you...Mafia, pizza, really hot chicks with awesome hooters (hey, our girlfriends dragged us to “Il Postino”)…You don’t need RICKY MARTIN and 35,000 clown noses, bro. You’re better than that.

Seriously, what the hell?