TBS: The "T" stands for "Threesome!"

The "B" and "S" stand for "Barfing," and "So much!"



A soon-to-be-published book by a former editor of Hustler magazine describes a purported video in which Jane Fonda (48 at the time), husband Ted Turner, and an unidentified brunette share a intimate moment of graphic, horrifying, old-people sex.

"Prisoner of X" author Allan McDonnell says the footage includes Fonda donning "artificial equipment" to "pleasure" Turner while he "services" the brunette and "asks" the camera operator, "Are you getting this?"

I'm getting "sick", I know that much.

The 68 year old Oscar winner admitted to having threesomes with her first husband, French movie director Roger Vadim, in the early 1970s. The tape featuring billionaire media mogul Turner allegedly came through the Hustler offices in the '90s, when McDonell says Hustler publisher Larry Flynt unsuccessfully tried to buy the video.

Flynt himself said "I really don't have any comment on the so-called Ted Turner videotape. Ted Turner and I have been friends for 30 years. I knew Ted before CNN." He added that he wouldn't have been intersted in the tape anyway, since "It's not like capturing a hypocritical congressman in the sack."

Yeah, because the only thing I want to see more than Jane Fonda pegging her geriatric spouse would be flabby, congressional ass getting spanked by underaged hookers. That'd be just great, Larry!

source

Bloody good show, bitches!

Who would have thought that British fans of Kanye West are just as trigger-happy and violent as American ones?

West's concert last night in Birmingham, England turned bloody after an ejected fan went home, got his girlfriend, came back and shot two security guards, seriously injuring one of them. Now I don't get why he needed his girlfriend there to shoot someone, but hey, maybe he stores his bullets in her lady-parts.

Since most of what I know about British people comes from Merchant-Ivory films and Charles Dickens, I keep imagine the exchange went something like "Good sir, your exuberance is quite unseemly, might you be so good as to vacate the premises forthwith?" and "Blimey! He's gone and knickered me in the bollywags!"




"Can't attend the Kanye musicale? Why, I shall most certainly pop caps in your asses, goodfellows! Pip pip!"